


Counterfeit Lives

by blakefancier, Willa Shakespeare (AnonEhouse)



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mental Instability, Post Gauda Prime, Sexual Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-08
Updated: 2014-03-08
Packaged: 2018-01-15 00:03:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1283728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blakefancier/pseuds/blakefancier, https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/Willa%20Shakespeare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Avon isn't doing too well after Gauda Prime, but then, he doesn't really care. Get out of his way or he'll kill you. Then he sees something in the slave auction that he just has to have.</p><p>If it looks like a Blake, and it walks and talks like a Blake, but you've already killed a Blake... well, a clone can be a comfort, even if you don't feel you deserve any.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Counterfeit Lives

**Author's Note:**

> Originally an RPG wherein I was Avon and Blakefancier was Blake (or, as in this fic, Blake's clone). Good times. We AUed SO MANY scenarios. Avon was nutty in most of them. I enjoy nutty Avon.
> 
> Published in Fire and Ice 8 printed in April of 2005

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

Avon walked through the main marketplace of his latest bolt-hole, intent on purchasing supplies for his ship. It was definitely a hole, filthy, lawless, and nameless, just a set of coordinates on the scumbag's guide to the universe map. Avon fit right in. He'd become accustomed to being filthy, inside and out, since the day he'd murdered Blake. He survived because that was what he did, but he took no joy in it. The slave-auction had generated a crowd blocking the street. Annoyed, Avon pushed his way through and then stopped, staring at one of the chained and beaten men lined up for sale.

 _It can't be._ The big man with the wild mane of curly hair was looking down at his feet, shoulders hunched, his posture shouting 'broken' in a stolid, resigned fashion that one beating would never have achieved. _At least, not with ..._ Avon shook his head and moved closer.

Avon got a place in front of the stage fairly easily. He'd killed enough people who got in his way that he had earned a reputation among the scum. He examined the man closer and waved over the auctioneer. "I'm taking this one." Avon tossed a fistful of credit chits on the block, and showed his teeth in a feral expression not likely to be mistaken for mirth. "I don't think anyone cares to bid against me, do they?" 

The slave shot a quick glance at Avon. His expression remained blank, apparently unimpressed by his purchaser. 

Adhering to his original plans, more to give himself time to think than for any other reason, Avon went on to get his supplies, with his slave following docilely at his heels. Avon ordered everything delivered to his ship. It was a bastard of a ship, a hodge-podge that left the shipyard as an unmanned ore-carrier but now had weapons, a livable environment, and a sophisticated computer system enabling one man to control it. Avon reached the ship, checked all the intruder devices, and brought the slave to the shabby living quarters before he turned to really look at the man for the first time since purchasing him. "What's your name?"

The slave kept his eyes lowered, and fell to his knees. "My name, Master? My name is slave."

 _It's his voice._ Avon frowned. "Did you ever have another name?"

"My old mistress's guards used to call me whore. Is that what you mean, Master?"

"No." Avon looked down at the man, feeling cold and sick inside. "Get up."

"Yes, Master." The slave struggled to his feet. Judging from the blue-black marks on his ribcage, the motion had been painful. He hesitated, then said quietly, "Would you, would you like to fuck me, Master? Or... I'm very good at sucking cock."

"Perhaps later." Avon stared at the apparition before him. _Blake is dead. This is not Blake. It's not even a very good copy of Blake... but then, I'm only an imitation of Kerr Avon._ "I want you washed up first. Follow me." 

Avon led the way to the bath, the one luxury he afforded himself, not an unreasonable one as the water was recycled and there was a great deal of unused space on board. Besides, it wasn't entirely a luxury. He sometimes scrubbed until his skin was raw, trying to feel clean.

The slave quickly shed the rags he was wearing. He stopped and looked at the bath, then glanced quickly at Avon. "I'm not sure what you want of me, Master. Did you want to watch me?" He tentatively placed a hand on Avon's chest. Then in a deep voice he said, "We could share."

"I'm not going to punish you. You needn't try so hard to please me." He looked at the bruises on the man's torso. "Take a bath." He paused, then asked, "Are you hurt anywhere besides your ribs?"

The slave looked at Avon assessingly. "No, Master, I'm fine." Then he added, quietly, "Did you want me to bathe with my chains still on?"

"No, of course not." Avon suddenly realized he was still holding the key the auctioneer had given him. He unlocked the chains, picked them up and threw them with sudden violence against the far wall, without changing his expression, or raising his voice. "You will never be chained again."

The slave frowned and rubbed his arms, looking concerned for a moment, then shrugged, as if deciding that a mad master was nothing particularly unusual. He turned on the tap, filling the bath with water, then stepped in with a groan. 

Avon watched for a few moments longer, then left the room to fetch the medi-kit. He returned and saw the man who looked like Blake awkwardly attempting to examine himself for damage. "If you're through bathing, come here and I'll do that."

The slave looked up, a shocked expression on his face. "Oh, no, Master. I'm fine. I'm just a little sore." He stood and stepped out of the bath, smiling shyly. "Are you sure you wouldn't like to share a bath with me?"

Avon stared at the man, hungrily. "Yes, I do want that." He put down the medi-kit and started stripping. "Run a fresh bath..." He paused. "I _won't_ call you slave, or whore. What would you like your name to be?"

The slave ran a fresh bath, checking that the water was the perfect temperature with the care of one who's often been savagely punished for the slightest error. Then he looked up at Avon. "I did have a name... once. But that was when I was newly created. It-- it was Roj."

Avon mouthed the name silently. "Yes. Yes, it would be. Roj." He blinked, then offered the man a smile that vanished immediately. "Then that is what I shall call you." Avon hung his blasters on a hook set into the wall beside the bath, and stepped into the water. "Come here."

Roj gazed at Avon's body. "You're a beautiful man, Master." He hesitated, then asked,"You want me to get into the bath with you?"

"Yes. I want to look at you. -- Touch you."

Roj smiled. "Yes, Master." Roj got into the bath and settled back against Avon. "Like this, Master?"

"No, I want to see your face. Turn around. And don't call me Master. My name is Kerr Avon." Avon paused, then asked, "Did you ever hear that name before?"

"No, Ma-- No, should I have?" Roj turned to face Avon, kneeling between his legs. "Are you famous, Mas--" Roj sighed. "I'm sorry, should I call you Kerr or Avon?"

Avon gave another false smile. "Infamous, rather. The universe knows me as Avon. You may call me Kerr." He touched Roj's face, gently. "You are beautiful. I will never hurt you, Roj. I will never let anyone hurt you again."

"All right, Kerr." Roj smiled as if humouring Avon's whims, not as if he believed him. "Let me clean you." He took the wash cloth and began to gently rub Avon's chest and shoulders with it. He 'accidentally' brushed his fingers against Avon's nipples.

Avon put his hand on Roj's wrist, stopping him. "Roj... I don't want you to ever do anything you don't want to do. I didn't buy you for that. I ...owed it to the memory of a friend."

Roj frowned. "You're confusing me. Don't you like when I touch you?" He leaned forward so that his lips were almost touching Avon's. "Don't you want to touch me?"

Avon closed his eyes briefly, fighting back the memory of Blake saying something very similar the first time they made love. Huskily he said, "Yes, yes, I do." He suddenly kissed Roj, and as suddenly backed away. "I don't deserve you, but I want you." He put his hands on Roj's cock, and began stroking it. "I want this."

"Deserve me?" Roj gave Avon a puzzled smile. "You're a strange man, Kerr." His eyes fluttered shut as Avon stroked him. After a moment, he opened his eyes. "You have me, Kerr. You know that, don't you?" He kissed Avon, taking it slow and deep.

Avon pressed himself against Roj tightly, opening his mouth to Roj's kisses, one hand going up to tug on his hair, the other working Roj's cock with an intimate knowledge that had become instinct long before Blake left the Liberator.

The more Avon yielded to Roj, the more bold Roj became. He slipped his tongue into Avon's mouth and got a hand between their bodies, exploring Avon's cock, and squeezing his balls before running a finger behind them. He touched Avon's hole, rubbing it, and watched for his reaction.

Avon moaned and opened his thighs, bringing one hand down to urge Roj to play with his arsehole. He tore himself away from Roj's mouth. "Yes, I want you. I want you to fuck me, Roj." He ran his fingers below Roj's cock, tickling the ridge beneath his balls, hoping it would drive Roj as mad as it always had Blake.

Roj cried out and pressed his finger into his Avon's hole, fucking him gently, finding and stroking his prostate. "I will, I will fuck you." He gasped. "But maybe we should do this in a bed?"

"There, too. Later." Avon turned around and knelt, arse out of the water. "There's ointment in the kit." He pointed to the box he had left on the deck just outside the tub. "I need you now, Roj."

Roj opened the kit and took out the ointment. "Just relax." He pressed two slippery fingers inside Avon, stretching him carefully. "How does that feel?"

Avon was panting, cock slapping against his belly with the urgency of long denial. "Good! It feels good, Roj." Far from relaxing, Avon was wire-tense, clutching the faucets at the end of the tub in a white-knuckled grip.

Roj pulled his fingers out and rubbed ointment onto his cock. "I'm going to make love to you now." He worked his cock slowly into Avon's arse.

"Oh." Avon arched his back, then shut his eyes, and went totally still as Roj entered him. "Oh. Yes. Please, Roj."

Avon felt Roj gently tracing the criss-crossing patterning of scars covering Avon's back with his fingertips. Roj rocked his hips gently and reached around to stroke Avon's cock. He said softly, "It's all right, Kerr. I'm here now, I'll take care of you. You won't have to hurt any more."

Avon gasped as Roj moved inside of him, touched him... smelling and sounding so like... "Just... don't leave me, Roj. Please...stay with me... I'll go where ever you like. Do whatever you want. Please..."

"I won't leave you, Kerr." Roj kissed Avon's back. "I promise that I won't leave you. I'll stay with you forever."

"Thank you... thank you for forgiving me, Roj." Avon's muscles relaxed, and he rocked back onto Roj's cock. "Please," he gasped, "please, fuck me hard."

Roj didn't respond verbally, he merely began fucking Avon harder, slamming his hips forward into his... lover.

Avon moaned and fell into the old, familiar rhythm, shoving back to meet Bl...Roj's thrusts, pulling away when Roj withdrew. "So good... so hot... so big in me... oh, yes, give it to me, Roj. Give me all that huge cock..." Roj pulled harder on Avon's cock. "Oh yes, fuck me full of you... make me come for you... only for you, Roj."

Roj gasped. "Yes... only for me.. only me..." He cried out. "You feel... so good... so... good." He squeezed Avon's cock hard and slammed into him again and again. "Come for me... love. Come... for me."

Avon cried out, hearing Blake's voice urging him on, that deep, soft thunder he reserved for their most intimate moments, calling out to him from beyond the grave, forgiving, demanding. "Blake!", he screamed as his cock exploded into the warm bath water, his seed milked by Blake's fingers, forced out by Blake's cock, drawn by Blake's love.

Roj pushed into Avon body one last time and came, shouting, "Kerr" before falling forward, trembling.

Avon hung from the faucets for a long moment, gasping and panting, before his hands unlocked and he fell to his elbows, arse still high and crammed full of Roj. "Ah... ah... ahhhh..." Avon imagined he felt the life-pulse in Roj, inside him, and tried to visualize Roj's come captured inside him.

"Are you all right, Kerr?" Roj rubbed Avon's back. "I didn't hurt you, did I? -- Should I pull out?"

"I'm...fine. You were... very, very good. Please... wait a moment longer. I... like to feel you in me." Avon had calmed down. "You're not a ...slave any more, Roj." He turned his head to look at Roj. "You don't have to stay with me, if you don't want to. If you like I'll take you anywhere you want to go and give you enough money to make a good start. Teach you whatever you need to know. Find you a good, safe place. I...want you, but I don't own you."

After a long pause, Roj replied, "I've never had someone want me. Not the way you do. I-- I'd like to stay with you. After all, I promised I'd stay. And... well, I'm sorry if this offends you, but you need me. Frankly, you're a mess."

Avon laughed. "Oh, you'd noticed." He touched Roj's hand. "Yes, I do need you, but I've learned my lesson. I can't force love to stay, not by promises, not by bargains, not by blackmail. It's your choice, Roj."

Roj slipped out of Avon and sat back in the tub. "Do I remind you of him? Is that why you bought me?"

"You _are_ him." Avon turned around to touch Roj's chest, sliding his hand down over the smooth skin of Roj's belly. "Only without his scars. And he's dead. I know he's dead, because I killed him." 

Roj blinked. "The water's getting cold. Why don't we dry you off and get into bed." He smiled. "Then we can make love again."

Avon grinned. "I like the way you think." He got up and stepped out of the bathtub, then turned and held out a hand to Roj.

Roj let Kerr help him out of the bath. "I'll always be here to take care of you." He hugged Avon.

Avon wrapped his arms around Roj and buried his head against Roj's chest. "Thank you."

"You won't ever be alone again... My love. Now, come on, let's get you dry." Roj grabbed a towel and began rubbing Avon's back.

Avon allowed Roj to dry him, watching him as if afraid he would vanish. "We'll need a bigger bed. And clothes for you." Avon interrupted the drying to suddenly hug Roj again. He whispered, "I do love you, Roj... I never told him."

Roj stroked Avon's hair. "I'm sure that Blake knew. I'm sure he could see it in your eyes." He kissed Avon's cheek.

Avon slowly relaxed in Roj's arms. He looked up at Roj and smiled. "Perhaps he did." He took Roj's hand. "Let's go to bed, love."

"You have a beautiful smile." He brought Avon's hand up to his mouth and kissed it. "Oh and don't forget your guns."

Avon nodded. "I have enemies, Roj." He caressed Roj's cheek, then went over to take the blasters from the wall. "But they will never touch you. We'll go away. Someplace safe."

Roj grinned. "Someplace where I can have a garden? And where it snows in the winter? Could we have a fireplace with real fire?"

"Yes, if you like. And perhaps a fur rug in front of the fire where we can make love of a winter's evening." Avon smiled.

Roj cupped Avon's face and kissed him gently. "We're going to make each other happy. We'll never be sad." He walked out to the bedroom.

Avon followed Roj, still smiling.

Roj fell back onto the bed and frowned. "It isn't very comfortable. And it's small." He grinned suddenly. "We'll have to cuddle very close."

Avon hung the guns up within reach, got into the bed, and sprawled on top of Roj. "Umm... I'm quite comfortable." He put his hands down to either side of Roj's head and kissed him.

Roj laughed. "Of course you are. I am _very_ comfortable. He reached down to squeeze Avon's arse. "We'll get a big bed for our home. And for the first week, we won't leave it-- except for food. You have pretty eyes."

Avon wriggled his arse. "Your eyes are the colour of wild honey." He kissed Roj again. "It will be a very big bed. A very strong bed."

"And there won't be any hurting allowed in our bed. Only moans and gasps of pleasure... and laughter. Lots of laughter. ... I want to make love to you again."

"Yes, I would like that very much." Avon kissed Roj and lifted up on his arms, then raised onto his knees, straddling Roj. "Very much indeed." He grinned down at Roj. "Did you remember to bring the lube?"

"Yes." Roj searched the rumpled sheets until he found the ointment. He dabbed more onto his fingers and quickly prepared Avon.

Avon leaned down to kiss Roj. "Let me." He took the ointment and coated Roj's cock slickly. "You are so beautiful. I want to ride your beautiful cock."

Roj arched up into Avon's hand, gasping. "I love you. I love you so much."

"My love." Avon kissed Roj again, then sat up, rubbing his arse against Roj's cock. "Hold me open while I sit on your cock, Roj."

Roj nodded and cupped Avon's arse, spreading his cheeks. His eyes never left Avon's face, watching avidly the changing expressions. He whispered, "I never knew it could be this way."

"It always will from now on." Avon closed his eyes and opened his mouth to gasp silently as the head of Roj's cock stretched his hole. He pushed down harder and moaned as his arse popped over the broadest part of the head and he suddenly slipped down further. He gasped again and looked down at Roj, grinning fiercely. "I promise, you will never leave my bed with any regrets."

"I believe you. I believe in you."

Avon touched Roj's face and said, sadly, "So did he." Avon threw his head back and pushed down until he was fully impaled, moaning.

Roj gasped as his cock was completely engulfed. "I'm not him. You didn't make any mistakes with me. This is new." He stroked the head of Avon's cock with his finger. "We're new."

Avon shook his hair out of his eyes and looked down at Roj. "I was...a tired old man..." He lifted himself and rocked back onto Roj, moaning as Roj circled his hips slightly."...until I saw you... you make me new again. You, Roj."

"Good." Roj rocked his hips in time with Avon's. He kept the touch on Kerr's cock very light, using only the tips of his fingers to tease. "I love... being inside of you. It feels like... like... I belong. I've always belonged..."

Avon moved faster, but still as gentle as his aching cock and balls would allow, out of concern for Roj's bruised ribs. "Yesss..." He pinched and roll Roj's nipples. "We belong together."

Roj cried out softly and arched, pushing his cock into Kerr roughly. He did it again, this time grabbing Kerr by the hips and pulling him down onto his cock. "Faster! Please, Kerr..."

Avon never could resist that voice, pleading. He grabbed Roj's arms to help balance himself and sped up, pumping his arse on Roj in shorter, harder strokes. "Roj..." he gasped and pumped, clutching at Roj. "Ah!" 

Roj panted. "Beautiful... so..." He gasped, "beautiful..." He stared at Avon, keeping his eyes locked on Avon's face. His hips moved faster and he grabbed Avon's cock, pumping quickly.

"Love... you..." Avon's balls were riding high, and Roj's hand bumped against them as he pumped. "Oh... Can't... can't make..." He moaned and slammed down onto Roj, grinding his arse against Roj so hard he felt the bone beneath the muscles. "Can't make it last!" He clamped his buttocks together, trying to force the orgasm out of Roj. Avon arched his back as he came, and came, squeezing Roj's arms and cock with all his strength.

Roj cried out and pushed up into Avon, coming hard. Trembling, he released Kerr's cock and brought the hand up to his mouth, licking away the come. "You taste delicious. Next time, I want to suck you."

Avon shook his head again. "You're... insatiable." Reluctantly Avon pulled himself off Roj's cock, and lay down on his side, in the small area of the bed left between Roj and the bulkhead. He kissed Roj. "Fortunately..." Avon paused to catch his breath. "... for me."

Roj smiled. "I love you." He paused, then added, "When can we find our new home? I don't like this planet very much. The people here... they aren't... Can we go soon?"

Avon rubbed Roj's back and yawned, snuggling closer. "Soon." He licked a patch of moisture pooled in the hollow of Roj's throat. "When I wake, I'll take us away from here." He closed his eyes and mumbled, "Find us a garden and a fire...to keep us warm despite the snow..."

Roj hugged Avon. "That sounds like a very good plan." He said softly, "Sleep well, my love."

***

_Blake smiled at Avon, and touched his face. His fingers were cold. 'Come with me, Avon. Come join me. We can be together forever.' Avon nodded and Blake's smile stretched, lips peeling back away from the teeth, further and further back. Bone showed, and Avon tried to get away but Blake's cold fingers were wrapped about his balls. Cold, thin fingers. Avon looked down to see a skeletal hand at his groin, and frantically beat at it. Blake laughed- a hollow, echoing laugh- and Avon looked up to see a skull topped with Blake's curly hair and with Blake's eyes staring at him, surrounded by yellowed bone. 'Forever, Avon.'._

Avon screamed and struck out with his fists, hitting something that cried out, "Kerr! Wake up, Kerr!"

Avon cringed back from Roj, wide-eyed and whimpering. "Please! Please, don't! I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." 

Roj said softly, "It's all right. Kerr, it's all right. It was just a nightmare." He gently stroked Avon's cheek. "Just a bad dream, love."

Avon touched Roj's face hesitantly. He stared for a moment longer, then nodded, gulping for breath, and shivering. He whispered, "Yes." He looked at Roj more closely. "Did I hurt you?"

"No. I hurt myself by falling off the bed." Roj slowly wrapped his arms around Kerr. "You're shaking. Are you cold?"

"I was." Avon leaned into Roj's chest and breathed deeply. "Until you came ba.. until I found you, Roj."

Roj frowned and tensed slightly. "We'll keep each other warm. Warm and safe." 

Avon took a deep breath. "Well... as I'm awake, we can leave, Roj." He touched Roj's face again, needing the reassurance of reality. He said softly, "I know you're not him. Right now, I know. But...sometimes... sometimes I get confused, Roj."

"Do you want me to be him? Because if that's what you want, what you need, I'll try. But you have to tell me. You have to tell me how to act."

"No." Avon closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again. "I tried to change myself for him. I wouldn't ask that of you." He laughed briefly. "And if you succeeded you'd be a man who couldn't content himself with me, but would be trying to save the universe from itself. No. He could never love me the way you do. Don't change. I'm sorry I get confused, but I don't want you to be him."

Roj laid his head on Avon's shoulder and sighed. "I don't understand how he could be discontent. How could he not love you with all his being? You're perfect." 

Avon stroked Roj's hair. "Blake was determined that _everyone_ have a chance at happiness. Goals like that require personal sacrifices. His happiness was one of them."

Roj kissed Kerr's neck, and when he spoke his disapproval of Blake's attitude was obvious in his tone, "Well, all I care about is _our_ happiness."

"Yes." Avon looked at Roj. "I was going to buy you some clothes here. But perhaps I'll wait until we reach a more civilized planet."

Roj laughed. "I think that's a good idea. Besides, clothes will just get in the way."

"Ah! An efficient man, one after my own heart." He gave Roj another kiss. "Come with me to the flight deck and we'll leave this planet."

Roj nodded. "I never thought that I would have 'happily ever after.' Thank you."

Avon smiled and took Roj's hand. "Come."

Roj squeezed Avon's hand. "With you, always."

Avon led Roj to the flight deck, belatedly noticing what a depressing and grimy sight the corridors of his ship were. "Perhaps a little tidying up would be in order." Avon paused to kick a cable out of Roj's way.

"Yes. When we buy my new clothes, we should get you some too. And you need a haircut."

"Well, you never know, on our new world shoulder-length hair may be the style for men." He ducked as they came to the flight deck. As big as the rest of the ship was, the flight deck was a cramped, after-thoughty sort of place. There was only one chair, which swiveled to enable the person in it to reach any of the controls. But it was an extremely large chair, wide, comfortable and able to lay flat. Avon often slept in it when he was in hazardous areas of space. It wasn't actually much smaller than his bed.

"I think you'd look better with short hair." Roj looked around curiously and frowned at the disorganized and cluttered flight deck. "I'll be glad when we find our new home."

"So will I." Avon settled into the chair, his naked body sticking to the worn leather. He began flicking switches, seemingly at random. Lights began to play across panels and things beeped, clicked and hummed. He leaned forward, directing his voice to a sound pickup. "Flight control, flight control, this is freighter 2-Oh-7-6. Requesting immediate departure." He paused, then added, "Without putting me on a collision course, this time." 

Roj blinked. "A collision course? The people here aren't very nice, are they?"

"About average... it wasn't deliberate, they're just lazy." Avon raised his voice. "The thermo-nuclear devices I'm carrying would make quite a mess in your ionosphere."

There was a hasty babble of voices, then a male voice said, _'Freighter 2-Oh-7-6, you are cleared for immediate departure, there are no other ships on your projected flight path'._

"Thank you, flight control. Lifting off now." Avon turned his head to Roj. "There are emergency straps against the wall. Do you know how to secure yourself for lift-off with them?"

"Yes." It took Roj awhile but eventually he figured out how to strap himself in. "You don't really have thermo-nuclear devices onboard do you?"

Avon grinned. "Well, I do have a coffee-machine. That heats molecules of water. It's a creative definition of the term, I admit." He glanced back to verify that Roj was safely strapped in.

Roj smiled in relief. "Oh good. It would make me nervous if you had a real bomb." He licked his lips. "I'm ready to go now."

Avon nodded and decided to quietly dispose of the conventional timed explosive charges he _did_ have, at the first available opportunity. "Here we go, then." He brought the engines up to full power and cut in the computer system that simplified things down to a single button push. He pushed the button, and was shoved back in his seat as the freighter lifted. Something rattled, rolled across the deck and bounced around noisily. "It's all right, all right! We didn't need that knob."

Roj swallowed nervously. "I've come to the conclusion that I don't like space travel."

Avon glanced back at Roj for an instant, grinning widely. "Relax! It's perfectly safe." He swung back to keep watch on the instruments, flicking a switch here and there, again, seemingly at random. The ship jerked, groaned, creaked, and suddenly went very quiet and still.

Roj hunched down as tightly as the safety straps allowed. 

Avon flicked one last switch and a previously blank section of shiny bulkhead shimmered to reveal a monitor screen showing the rapidly receding globe of a planet. Avon got up and went to Roj. "We're on our way. Once we clear the system I can leave the flight deck for short periods of time, but until we leave the main traffic lane, I'll have to sleep here."

Roj nodded. "I can sleep on the floor."

"It's a big chair."

"I don't want to distract you." Roj began to shiver. 

Avon undid Roj's safety straps. "All right." He added gently, "You could go back to the living quarters."

Roj whispered, "Alone? But it's dark. I'd rather stay here with you."

Avon rubbed Roj's shoulders. "I'll take you back as soon as we clear the system. You can stay there, or we can bring bedding here for you." He looked apologetically at the monitor screen. "I can shut that off, if it bothers you."

Roj pressed his face against Avon's neck. "I'm sorry. I'm not very brave. I'm sure that Blake was very brave."

Avon hugged Roj tightly. "Shh. You don't need to be anything except yourself. Just tell me what frightens you, and I'll deal with it."

"It's cold and dark in space. It reminds me of the slaver's ship. It was horrible... it... I'll be all right. As long as you're here with me."

"Hmmm... maybe this will help a little." Avon went to the controls and flicked a few more switches. The monitor changed from space to a view of a wildflower meadow, with blue sky and distant trees. He returned to Roj. "It's not quite a garden, but it's the best I can do at the moment."

Roj smiled. "It is pretty." He hugged and kissed Avon. "Thank you."

Avon stroked Roj's hair. "We'll have our garden, Roj." He looked past Roj at a blank surface, and through a trick of the light, saw their reflections somehow flung on the bulkhead before his eyes, hazy and distorted. Roj looked _wrong_. It took an instant for Avon to realize why. There was a long, jagged scar going down through his left eye. Blake stared back at Avon as he stopped breathing in shock. Then the scarred eyelid twitched as Blake smiled at Avon. Blake's lips moved and Avon thought he read, _Love him._ before he closed his eyes, and tightened his grip on Roj.


End file.
